I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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