what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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