He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
