How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
