Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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