I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
