Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
