Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
