Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
