You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
