remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
