I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
