Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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