He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
