ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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