I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
