I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
even my farts smell like vagina
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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