my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
worst night to have a conscience
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just want nice things and good sex
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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