they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
