So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
