Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
