You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
