Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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