I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i out mim tonsoeep
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
