we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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