I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
