Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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