Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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