I faked an abortion last night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
