DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
