I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
