Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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