Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
