wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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