Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
