Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
