somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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