he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
