I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
