**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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