do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
