She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
