sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
