Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
