somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
