its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Text me some of your sweat
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