Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
