Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
