Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Someone came in the potted fern
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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