YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
